I am done with the Photobeads administration for the first quarter of 2009, yay… Somehow this doesn't make me happy even a tiny bit. I guess it’s not my day today. I am OK, usually I am holding on just fine. Not today. I cannot pretend I am fine because I am not. I am hurt and it hurts. A lot. And once you’ve found the courage to admit that to yourself, what’s the point in hiding it from the rest of the world? The world does not care anyway.
I have rediscovered БГ and Аквариум recently. They’ve made a lot of very beautiful new songs in the past 10 years. I will try to get hold of some CD’s in Kiev. This song is twenty years old, though. But I still think it’s very beautiful. And it reflects my feelings at the moment. Please ignore the ‘video’, I could not find any other version.
A couple of days ago a friend has let me know he prefers not to have contact with me because he finds me too attractive. And that could jeopardise his relationship with his girlfriend. I appreciate his honesty. I understand. I accept. But this makes me sad. Am I losing a friend because I look good?
Trivia: I prefer songs in Russian when I am sad.