Friday, 5 June 2009

Back (not quite)

Along the ring road in Kiev. Are they trying to build a little copy of Chernobyl here? Look at the sky! The clouds looked like they were stuck onto the sky.

I arrived yesterday. Kind of. Air travel doesn’t really work for me if I fly from the Netherlands to Ukraine and back. I cannot switch from one me to another in three hours. I was quiet nearly all the way from Cologne to The Hague. It was difficult to make Dutch sentences, difficult to hear myself (I have a terrible accent), difficult to find things to talk about. If you know me, then you know that I can’t keep quiet for two hours in a row. It feels like I can’t find myself back. I am torn between here and there. I miss the freedom to make jokes without having to explain myself. I miss familiar words. I miss the ease of the unspoken rules. And I am glad to be back. It’s clean, organised, everything is on time, life is much easier here in many aspects.

I am once again confronted with the fact that I do wrong things with my life. I need to filter them out and throw them away. Change to right or at least not so wrong. But which things are right and which are wrong? My company, work, relationships? I need to sort that out before I can do anything about it.

I woke up to a nice morning and saw the city and the sea (which means I didn’t wake up at home and that explains why I din't blog yesterday). The view was so different from yesterday’s morning. I wouldn’t be looking forward to 14 degrees in June normally, but now I am glad it’s so cold. This way everything is different, even the weather. It’s easier this way.
The sky in The Hague this morning.

Trivia: if there are no traffic jams on the road it takes one hour by car from my parents’ place to the international airport.


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