Monday, 12 October 2009


There was a spider in my bra drawer. I have too many knickers so I need separate drawers for knickers and bras. Anyway, I was getting ready for tonight’s dancing lesson and was choosing a bra to put on under my dress when a spider crawled from underneath the bras and settled on the side of the drawer. My drawers are made of white fabric and I could see the spider very well in all detail. I stood there and watched it sit. It was not one of those very tiny spiders you could call sweet if they weren’t spiders. It was also not one of those light ones with very long thin legs (I think there’s even a special name for them in Dutch). The spider wasn’t large and fat either. It’s proportions seemed so right, almost human. And it just sat there not trying to get away. It had no business to attend to, just chill on the side of my bra drawer.

With a black bra in my hand still I made a step backwards unable to take my eyes off the spider. As if I could nail it down to the side of the drawer thus preventing it from escaping. I headed for the vacuum cleaner. I had to be fast. If I came back and saw no spider in the drawer I would have to unravel all the drawers until I found it. No dancing. I took the vacuum cleaner to the bedroom. The spider still sat at the same spot. It hasn’t moved while I was setting up the vacuum cleaner next to the drawers stand, plugged it in and put the nozzle (?) inside the drawer. It was still sitting still on the side of the drawer when I pushed the button and the next moment it wasn’t there anymore.

The whole operation felt like a murder because of the spider’s features and because it wasn’t moving around trying to hide. I even felt guilty for a second. Vacuum cleaner is a perfect murder weapon: clean, fast and if someone shows up attracted by the noise you can always pretend you’re hoovering the floors.

Slow Train Soul - In The Black Of Night


  1. I don't want to make it more creepy, but the spider probably survived its trip into the vacuum cleaner and is now on it's way to get revenge.

  2. I forgot to mention - I am a very experienced murderer. Maybe I should include this in my LinkedIn profile.


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