About a year ago I've come across a remarkable ad on the internet promising women to get them married in two months time. The link led me to the website of the Female Club "I Want To Get Married". The club is nothing more than an enterprise of a lady who claims to know what a woman should do to get a man to propose. She wrote a book with practical advice and exercises (which she sells on the website). She also organises all kinds of trainings and courses on the topic. There is no way you can get me to pay for stuff like that, but I was curious enough (mainly because of the absurdity of the idea) to subscribe for the free newsletter.
Most of the advice given in the newsletter seems to make sense: don't be too focused on getting married, don't start talking about marriage and children on the first date, relax, wear flattering clothes, etc. Sometimes the 'Club' seems to lose it. That's when they tell you to add up all the letters of your birthday, divide the number by 3 and draw the result in red ink on your hip together with your zodiac sign. Or say some special words in some extinct language every night. Or eat only red food for seven weeks in a row. Luckily this kind of stuff doesn't appear in the newsletters too often.
Today I have received another issue of the newsletter. 'Alexandra, learn how to increase your feminine energy.' The idea is that if a man feels a strong (sexual) energy he will find a woman attractive regardless of age or looks and he will maintain that interest as long as he feels the energy. If there is no such energy no beauty will be able to keep a man focused on a (serious) relationship for more than a couple of weeks. So far so good. There is a special training for that, but the president of the Club is generous enough to give away three tips for free.
Tip number one: stop wearing trousers and switch to skirts and dresses. Apparently skirts and dresses below the knee, especially wide models, give you more feminine energy. Hmmm, how about style and such?
Tip number two: before asking a man to do something for you (take out the garbage or buy you a diamond ring) give him a little bit of sexual energy. Unfortunately, the newsletter doesn't reveal how exactly you're supposed to do that. I think you have to take the course to find out.
Tip number three: when talking to men imagine that you have a second set of lips near your uterus and that you talk using your 'lower' lips instead of your 'upper' lips. What?! Ok, if you are a man, imagine a woman who's talking to you using her 'lower' lips. Have you pictured this? Now RUN!!!
(Yes, exactly like this, but then pink.-->)