Tuesday, 27 July 2010

Losing friends

"Sasha and B.... are now friends." Does this sound familiar? Yes, Facebook. In the past two years I've sent about 100 friend requests. More than half have been confirmed. About 35 have never been answered because those people either do not have a Facebook account or don't ever use it. Some requests have been ignored or left unanswered because people do not want to be connected to me. No hard feelings. Every once in a while I see my friend count raise. That's when I go to my notifications to see who accepted my request at last.
What Facebook doesn't tell you is who has erased you from their friends. This doesn't happen very often - just a couple of times a year. A guy I met at a dance lesson once and never talked to again. Another one I had a couple of dates with. Those people vanish from my life and my Facebook quietly and relatively painless. If they weren't very active I will probably not notice very soon. When I notice my reaction can differ depending on my real relation to the person in question. Up until now it was no big deal, although it does sting a little. It does feel like a refusal.

Some days ago I noticed my friend count drop. Someone has deleted me from their list of friends. A big summer clean up? Did I hurt them? Are my status updates annoying? Did they stop liking me? WHO IS IT? I browsed through my friends list, but couldn't find who's missing. I keep on guessing and trying names but with no success so far. It drives me crazy! Which is weird. How can I be so worried about 'losing' a 'friend' I don't even miss?


  1. true, i have the same: first i was looking, but now I am ignoring it ;-) but we are still connected !

  2. try looking up your R's. Hmmm, don't say that out loud, because I don't mean it that way. I just got tired of the whole FB thing with its one-dimensional yet curved view of reality.


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