Thursday, 1 July 2010

Debts resolution

I help a friend of mine to resolve the debts or rather survive the municipality debts resolution programme. For me it sure is a very informative process. But if you have neither debts nor an obsessive urge towards solving complicated puzzles you will find most of my findings rather uninspiring. So I won't bother you with that. Ok, maybe some of it. I will blur it into a little fantasy sketch.

I am not a person likely to lend money. I never did anyway. I don't have any debts apart for the mortgage for my apartment. But that doesn't mean I don't have problems. My problem is time. I manage to throw away more time than I actually have. Procrastination is my twin sister. One day the problem will hunt me down and then what do I do? They say time is money. Suppose, just suppose time is actually something like money, something you can spend, save for later or borrow.

I've just imagined this special arrangement the municipality has for people who borrowed so much time they would have to give most of their life to pay it back plus the interest. So you go to the social services and apply for the arrangement. They will force you to take part in their time management programme. Your supervisor will sit with you and write down how much time you need per month to do what. And how much time you owe to whom. What happens next is that they make a special time account for you. From now on all your time goes to that account which is managed by the municipality. They will give you a certain amount of time to eat, wash yourself, clean your house, eat and cook. Not much, just the real minimum. You are free to spend this time as you please. For example if you decide not to wash yourself for a week, you might save enough time to go out on Friday evening. Or if you decide to eat under shower. The rest of the time they will distribute themselves. They will spend your time for you. That's sleep, travel to work, doing groceries, maybe some sport if you're lucky.

The social services will negotiate with your time creditors and make arrangements to resolve your debts. To whom do you owe time? Your boss, the fitness club, local activity centre, library? They don't negotiate your debts to family, friends and neighbours. You'll have to deal with it yourself either within the limits of time you're given free each month or by postponing the actual payment for three years. Three years is how long the time debts arrangements takes. After that you have no time debts anymore and you can start your life anew.

I wonder how likely I'd be going to the social services...

What a wonderful summer song is this: Nouvelle Vague - Road To Nowhere

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