Why are insurances and banks so keen on making full colour magazines? I’m talking about those dull publications consisting of photos of happy people and irrelevant articles. The ones you get in your mail whether you want it or not. They come packed in a plastic bag and go straight into garbage bin in the same plastic bag, unopened. I once opened such a magazine from my health insurance company. It was so intensely and depressingly boring that I didn’t even manage to remember what it was about.
A bank where I have my savings account sends me a magazine that’s called ‘Spaarmotief’ which literally means ‘saving incentive’. Huh?! I already have a savings account. Which means I already save money and do not need incentives. Spaarmotief is not about saving money for a new gadget of education for your children. The magazine is packed with articles about all kinds of environmental projects run by the bank. They suggest that if I want to save the nature I should put more money on my savings account. I must admit I do find it a rather weird incentive. I also fail to understand how sending me a magazine that I throw away immediately contributed to a better environment.
Today I received a magazine that beats them all. This one is at the top of absurdity that my simple mind is not able to comprehend. Today I received a magazine from Dela – an insurance company that covers the costs of your burial. I already pay for the insurance. What else do they want from me? Why do they have to remind me about my mortality? On the cover of this issue of the magazine (called Chronicles) they have a smiling man. Apparently his father is dead. Why is he smiling? Who the f**k is he anyway? At the back of the magazine there are loads of coupons you can fill in if you want more information. Help! How do I unsubscribe? Where is the coupon for less information?!