Monday, 4 April 2011

The war

Enough! I am fed up! I declare a war! Two wars to be precise.

One will be against that black cat that pees in my garden and… well… you know… in my front yard. It also sits on the roof of my garden shed every night and yells the hell out of my night sleep. I tried friendly ways to let this annoying animal know I didn’t appreciate his activities on my premises: I looked him straight in the eye; I tried to scat him away every night; I sprayed animal friendly substance around the garden. Nothing worked. Yesterday I bought some animal unfriendly powder and scattered it all around the garden and front yard. It smells of garlic so badly, no creature with nostrils will dare to approach. I hope this’ll work because the next thing is shooting. I am not looking forward to a blood bath.

The second war is on snails and slugs. They scoff all plants in my garden without even giving them a chance to grow and produce more leaves. Snails don’t seem to have any notion of sustainability. DIE! I will not even try to be friendly. I have scattered anti snail and slug granules all around atop of the garlic powder. I’m not sure snails have nostrils, that’s why.

Oh, if you are a fanatic animal rights fighter, please don’t burn down my house. They started first!


  1. If the bloody cat is horny as hell, you will find even garlic won't help. Only cutting off his ... well, you see the picture ;) But even that might not help fully... By the way, burning down houses is old fashion.. the smoke is animal unfriendly ... but I would check garlic smelling things twice:P J.


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