The secret of success

Do you enjoy shopping for furniture? Let’s disregard Ikea. Do you? I’d probably love it, but the sales stuff in ALL the furniture shops makes it impossible. We’ve been shopping for a table and a coffee table for a month now and still we have none. We’ve seen several really cool dining tables for the reasonable price. But once we start interacting with a sales person…

A sales person: “Are you looking for something special?” – a standard question. Me thinking and keeping it in: “No, I’m looking for something so damn usual I wonder why I’m not at Ikea yet. I’m leaving right away!”

A sales person: “This table [coffee table, chair, couch, any piece of furniture really] has a unique character.”  Me, keeping it in again: “Cut the crap. I don’t have time for this. I’d rather move on to the next shop.”

A sales person interrupting our conversation: “Have you been to this shopping centre before?” Me, really pissed off with the interruption: “Yes.” – Resuming the interrupted conversation and walking towards the exit at the same time.

A sales person after overhearing my remark about a bench: “This bench fits perfectly with the table. I’d say you cannot buy one without the other!” Me thinking: “We’ll buy neither.”

A sales person: “This table is 100cm wide so there’s also plenty of space for decorations.” Me: “I buy a table to be able to put food on it, not decorations. I’m not a decorations type of person.”  A sales person: “No, you certainly should decorate such a table! You cannot buy it and put it in your house just like that!” Me, keeping it in yet again: “All right, I won’t buy it.”

I was wondering why it never takes me more than an hour to get something at Ikea even though I have to compromise heavily. And why does it take a month with regular furniture shops even when I actually find exactly what I want for the price I find reasonable?

And then it hit me! I now know the secret of Ikea’s success. It’s not the low price or anything. It’s the absence of annoying sales staff!

It’s been quite a while without music: Berry Weight – Cowboys and Indians