Sunday, 31 July 2011

Condom moment

Exactly my kind of shop: clothes are weird, jewellery is complicated, objects are vintage, the sellers are actually artists. The fitting room is a miniature living room. “Go ahead, the room will easily fit the two of you” – the male artist said. Two vintage chairs, an antique TV set, an old rack and two console mirror tables. Indeed. The room is large enough for two. Loads of condoms from everywhere.

For a couple of minutes I forgot about the clothes I wanted to try on. My mind followed the words on the package in my hands:
To never forget (some), as the first time (more than once, surprisingly enough), that wasn’t quite as nice (more than enough), that was good (most of the time), with your big love (yes), with a colleague (yep...), with a friend (still not sure whether to regret it or not), with a stranger (never!), with foreplay (dûh!), exciting (isn’t excitement the very essence of sex?), naughty (depends on the definition, but most probably yes), experimental (sure), sweet (mmmm), planned (love gantt charts, but sex is usually spontaneous), on impulse (yes, please), cosy (not sure), romantic (oh yes!), pure (what is pure?), lust (check), drunken action (no), divine orgasm (too few), not satisfactory (a bit too many of those), nice (of course), intimate (what else?), impersonal (is that what you get with a stranger?), outside (ha!), inside (most of the time), in the car (check), in bed (what else is new?), in the toilet (twice of which once in a public toilet), on the couch (obviously), on the floor (not very comfy), in the garden (too bad my garden is totally not suitable). The package ran out of words and I thought of moments in different countries, with great age differences, with lights on and off, with and without music, when it was too hot or too cold, when he was ‘failing’, when I was so ticklish he could hardly touch me, too fast or too long...

Then I realised someone was waiting for me outside and I had clothes to fit. And also that I’ve moved to the new level of appreciation of sex. Getting older has its advantages.

Sweet memories: Dire Straits – Romeo and Juliet

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