Emptiness

Friends rather than lovers. This thought has crossed my mind more than once last week. And now it has happened. Everything fell into place, everything is right, no one is lying to anyone, no one is hurt – cool! Except… It feels so empty! It’s amazing how fast a place is filled. And even if the warmth and affection are not real, it’s still very difficult to part with them.

Thursday evening I felt half empty, but now it feels like emptiness is slowly taking over my heart. I try to fill in this empty space with tears, but it’s too big. I don’t have so much tears!

This morning I woke up at 7:00 because the neighbours’ cat went into my closet, climbed upon something and then fell down with a great noise. I told this to Sasha and he said I was funny, even though I didn’t do anything!

My neighbours from upstairs have duvet covers with a rose and the text “it’s all about love”.

When I arrived on Thursday, I found a blank envelope (without a name or an address on it) amongst other post. There was a 10-Euro note in it. Who and why has ‘sent’ it to me? I cannot recall anyone owing me ten Euro.

<-- A photo by Sasha Drozdov (another Sasha). He also made the photo of me that you can see in the upper left corner on this blog (and almost in all my profile pictures by now). More cool photos on his blog here.

Trivia: I have a handkerchief under my pillow.