The right answer is: M1, M2, J1, J2, R2, L and me – 7 people. Two hours before the dinner J2 said he wouldn’t be coming. It was a nice surprise when he showed up. I’ve made this for dinner, although it didn’t look quite as nice. My house smells like pancakes. And I am totally confused... Oh, not again!!!
So who is going to Riga with me? Maybe I should invite one of my guests. ;)
Tomorrow it’s Wednesday again - time for our traditional Wednesday dinner. It’s my turn to cook. It’s also the last Wednesday of the year – good reason to organise something special. My idea was – let’s invite more friends to join. Afterwards we’ll all go dancing together. That sounds like fun. And that’s when it started!!!
I assumed we'd start with the three of us, usual suspects: C, M1 and myself. I called C to ask him whether he doesn’t mind a little extension. He didn’t answer my call, but he sure wouldn’t mind. Invite R1: “I’ll think about it, I’ll let you know.” Then invite R2. Then invite A. Then invite J1. M1 came up with the idea to invite P. R2 and A confirmed. Try to call C again, no answer. J1 declined: “I have to work the next day” – lame excuse, who doesn’t! I called R1 to check: “I think I’ll skip this time. I want to start dancing in January.” M1 called to tell me P isn’t coming either. I started negotiations with J1: “Come for the dinner, dancing is optional.” After three hours of negotiations J1 agreed to come. In the meanwhile I texted L: “Going dancing Wednesday? Wanna join us for dinner?” Yes to all – good. When I came home I discovered a message from A – she thinks her day will be too busy and she prefers to spend the evening at home. I’ll call her tomorrow and try to convince her to come to the dinner, dancing optional. Text C to inform him about the extended version of the Wednesday dinner. The answer: “You’ll have enough fun without me. I’ll stay at home a sleep before dancing. I’ll probably see you later at the dancing place.” What?!!! M1 is going to call him tomorrow. Tonight M1 has invited J2 while we had dinner together. He’ll be there, 99% sure. I’ve just texted M2, let’s hope she comes.
Now you may guess (or calculate) which people will be sitting around my table tomorrow. If you guess right I’ll take you with me on my trip to Riga! Submit your answers in comments. Good luck!
For the past seven days I’ve been acting as a psychological support hotline for a friend suffering from love pain. It’s a serious and time consuming task. I love him, I have the time, I’ll make the time. He was very helpful when I needed support earlier this year. But while I’m fulfilling this honourable task I can’t help but observe our interaction. Very interesting!
What happens when someone in love pain seeks your support? You listen and try to say something comforting. What do you come up with:
“The pain will go with time.” – does it help the person you’re trying to comfort? Not a bit! How much time?!
“What you feel and think is perfectly normal.” – So what?! How is that supposed to help?
“You have to go through this, it’s a part of the game.” – What kind of crap is that?!!!!
“Look for some distraction. Try to be among people as much as possible.” – People?! You mean all those happy assholes with partners and families?
I remember getting all this some months ago. I even remember getting angry at a friend because he said all these things that didn’t help at all. Why do I say all this to my friend now? I know it doesn’t help. Who knows? Maybe because there’s nothing better I can think of. Maybe because I know all of this is true. And maybe because I know that hearing a voice of a person (no matter what that voice is saying) is always better than listening to the silence of the great emptiness of your house...
Another friend called tonight. “I feel fine, but deep inside I miss something...” - she said. “You miss a man, don’t you?” “Yes... I miss J, G, N, P, even V and all the men I haven’t even met yet!” I didn’t know what to say to that.
I had a brunch with a friend today. She said: “I asked a CD of Michael Bublé for Christmas.” The name didn’t say me anything. I asked her to post a link to one of his songs on my wall. When she did, I though: “Hey, I know this guy!” He is in charts with his song ‘I Just Haven’t Met You Yet’. I think this song is very appropriate for my situation at the moment.
Dutch plan. They plan all their business and free time weeks in advance. Sometimes you’ll have to wait weeks before you can spend an afternoon with a couple of friends. This way of life is quite annoying, because your diary is constantly filled with all kinds of obligations and you never have free time. Free time vanishes if it’s planned week in advance. I feel imprisoned if my diary is filled with appointments like this.
Ukrainians don’t plan. They plan neither business nor free time. Get up in the morning, decide what’s important and do it. That makes it impossible to make long term strategies, or to rely on anything. Time becomes fluid. I can’t be in such environment – I’m not a good swimmer.
Is there a way in between? I’m trying. These Christmas days are the result. Thursday evening: dinner with four instead of two. Friday: an unexpected West Side Story treat. Saturday: unexpected plan to visit the Winterparade in Amsterdam and an unexpected decision not to go to Amsterdam after all. Tomorrow: I’ll be meeting a friend for a coffee at 11:00 and for the rest – we shall see.
It was a fabulous Christmas with presents, brunch, lazy afternoon, visit to my friend’s family, more presents and the biggest present: an unplanned visit to the West Side Story at the Circustheater – fantastic!
Santa brought these -->
Our plan for the Christmas eve was simple: just the two of us, cook, eat, make a necklace or watch a DVD. My friend got a text: “P asks whether we are going to dance tonight.” We’ve been through this some five times in the past week. “Tell him we are not going. I’ll finish with the Christmas tree and then we’ll start cooking.” I had J1 on the phone and my friend suggested he could join us. “Is J2 also coming?” – J1 asked. I called J2: “Are you coming for dinner?” So there we were, the four of us. Dinner (the meat of wild boar tastes delicious!), milkshakes and ice-cream and lots of fun with Jenga. I wonder how our plans for tomorrow will work out.
Thanks for voting again! My Richard lives in Amsterdam. Amsterdam is good, not too far. Brussels was leading for some time and I almost regretted putting it on the list. Distance in a relationship scares the hell out of me. Traumas from the past. I hope to be able to introduce a more or less complete Richard somewhere in the course of next week.
Merry Christmas everyone, enjoy whatever activities you’ve planned for these days. Have fun! (Can’t wait till I may open the presents!)
The right answer is: M1, M2, J1, J2, R2, L and me – 7 people. Two hours before the dinner J2 said he wouldn’t be coming. It was a nice surprise when he showed up. I’ve made this for dinner, although it didn’t look quite as nice. My house smells like pancakes. And I am totally confused... Oh, not again!!!
M1 called to tell me P isn’t coming either. I started negotiations with J1: “Come for the dinner, dancing is optional.” After three hours of negotiations J1 agreed to come. In the meanwhile I texted L: “Going dancing Wednesday? Wanna join us for dinner?” Yes to all – good. When I came home I discovered a message from A – she thinks her day will be too busy and she prefers to spend the evening at home. I’ll call her tomorrow and try to convince her to come to the dinner, dancing optional. Text C to inform him about the extended version of the Wednesday dinner. The answer: “You’ll have enough fun without me. I’ll stay at home a sleep before dancing. I’ll probably see you later at the dancing place.” What?!!! M1 is going to call him tomorrow. Tonight M1 has invited J2 while we had dinner together. He’ll be there, 99% sure. I’ve just texted M2, let’s hope she comes.
Our plan for the Christmas eve was simple: just the two of us, cook, eat, make a necklace or watch a DVD. My friend got a text: “P asks whether we are going to dance tonight.” We’ve been through this some five times in the past week. “Tell him we are not going. I’ll finish with the Christmas tree and then we’ll start cooking.” I had J1 on the phone and my friend suggested he could join us. “Is J2 also coming?” – J1 asked. I called J2: “Are you coming for dinner?” So there we were, the four of us. Dinner (the meat of wild boar tastes delicious!), milkshakes and ice-cream and lots of fun with Jenga. I wonder how our plans for tomorrow will work out.
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