Sunday, 25 December 2011

The cutlery

When was the last time you had real metal cutlery on board of a plane? Even befoore 9.11 it was not so common, now it seems all crews fear someone will threaten them with a fork and demand to crash into some tall building.

Well, the Etihad crew of the flight EY26 heading from Düsseldorf to Abu Dhabi didn't fear that. First of all, probably, because there were hardly any arabs on board. Besids, why would anyone would want to threaten the crew when one really has anything one needs during the flight?

I mean, would you even think of sticking a fork into a flight attendant if a pillow and a blanket already wait for you when you get to your seat? Who would think of putting a nife at the purser's throat after they gave you an a-la-cart three course menu with three main courses to choose from? I had a traditional Christmas meal - turkey with chestnuts, roasted potatoes and green beans. Halal of course.

The flight attendant came along distributing small black poaches containing a toothbruch, toothpaste, a pair of ear plugs, a sleeping mask and a pair of... socks! After that the wish to run over to the cockpit and knock out the pilot with a spoon evaporated completely.

Yes, I do recommend flying with Etihad. The word 'cheap' is not in their vocabulary. Even if they charged you an EasyJet fare.

And I do recommend flying to Abu Dhabi because the passport control guys look ultimately HOT!

<--Stay connected during the flight.

Wednesday, 21 December 2011

Das Lebensmotto

Our teacher handed over sheets of paper with quotations from famous Germans: Bismarck, Schiller, Nietzsche and such.

Teacher: “Welches Motto könnte für Sie gelten?“
M.: „Und leben ist ja doch des Lebens höchstes Ziel!“
Teacher: „Warum?“
M.: „Das Leben gibt es um zu leben. Dann muss man das leben. Wann du dein Leben nicht gelebt hast, dann hast du nicht gelebt!“
Teacher: „Genau.“

Speaking of famous Germans: Georg Friedrich Händel - For Unto Us a Child is Born

Monday, 19 December 2011

Flying with luggage – lessons learned

  • Lesson No. 1 – Never put your favourite shoes in your check in luggage. 
  • Lesson No. 2 – If you have any unique jewellery, make sure it’s either on you or in your hand luggage. 
  • Lesson No. 3 – The dark straight Diesel jeans cannot be left in a suitcase unattended. 
  • Lesson No. 4 – Cabin luggage suitcase can be best used for cabin luggage. 
  • Lesson No. 5 – If you only have one foundation, for Heaven’s sake keep it with you at all times. 
  • Lesson No. 6 – Take all books on board with you. 
  • Lesson No. 7 – Avoid checking in luggage at all cost. 
  • Lesson No. 8 – If you have to check in your luggage, make sure there are only cheap, old and easily replaceable things in it. 

I now have a couple of days to replace the contents of my lost suitcase at the cost of KLM. I’d rather have my suitcase back.

Saturday, 17 December 2011


Emancipation is good, but men with long nails are a no-go.

Selah Sue - Peace of Mind

Wednesday, 14 December 2011


When I travel I’m always amazed by women who travel on high heels. High heels bring about that glamour model look many of us would like to have but few of us are prepared to suffer for. The ‘Wow!’ effect. I always failed to understand why someone would willingly suffer high heels through check in and passport control queues, security checks, airport shopping and long flights. But the high heeled women never look tired or suffering. Super women!

I don’t have shoes with very high heels in my wardrobe, but I do have heels. And last Friday I headed for Germany wearing boots with some 5,5cm heels. I figured the flight was very short (a little more than one hour) and my friend would pick me up at the airport. I could even kick off the boots in the car if I felt really tired. Besides, the boots would take up too much space in my little suitcase.

I have to confess: high heeled and with my borsalino hat on I did feel a tad model-ish. Diesel’s Fuel for Life (sprayed at the duty free first thing after the security check) contributed to that feeling. I’m not sure anyone else had noticed the model in me, but who cares? I model-rock. Yes.

Encouraged by this positive experience I decided to repeat the model trick on the way back. It would be the same story except this time I had to spend one hour on the very comfortable ICE train to get to the airport. Can do.

Model me entered the train to discover that it was fully packed. Me – no seat reservation. On my high heeled boots and with my suitcase I started moving through the overcrowded carriages in the direction of the restaurant. That was a challenge. Flats would have been of help at that moment. Two carriages later I entered the restaurant. To discover. That this restaurant. Was equipped. With very few seats. And many high standing tables. And all the seats were taken. Crap!

After 30 minutes standing on high heels in a fast moving train I lost not only my model look (if I’d ever had any), but also every trace of the model feel. As soon as one of the seats was free I threw myself in it preventing a gentlemen in the age of my father to have that seat. He certainly didn’t see the model in me but I didn’t care.

Slightly recovered I found my way through the maze of the Frankfurt International Airport to the right terminal, flirted with a friendly guy at the start of the security check (weak model signals beaming through the layer of tiredness) and headed for the gates. There were no trolleys to put my bag and almost-fur coat on so I had to carry that all while applying some Dior perfume and checking out other shops.

Finally I arrived at Schiphol with no modelling ambitions and a strong wish to get home as soon as possible. That’s when I spent 30 minutes standing while waiting for my luggage. I expected it to appear on the baggage belt any moment, so why bother to sit down? I was wrong. I spent more than an hour waiting for my suitcase and went home without it. Lost. There was a pair of very fine heelless shoes in it...

So why do women travel on high heels?

Monday, 12 December 2011


Digital boarding passes (provided you have a smartphone. Don’t you?) Security scans, however annoying and time consuming – they do get better and better equipment. Information screens – loads of information, all useful.

Terminals. Gates. Arrivals. Departures. Transfers. Conveyor belts. Moving walkways. Mind your step (it’s only cool if the voice says that when someone approaches. If the voice keeps repeating that in equal intervals – that’s an old system – boo!)

Check in desks for passengers travelling with animals. SkyLine train without a conductor to bring people to the more remote parts. Toilets that flush themselves. Water coming out of the tap automatically. WiFi.

Food may be expensive, but boy there’s choice! Waiting areas made to look like living rooms – I wish my living room would even remotely resemble one of those. Museum. See. Buy. Fly. Casino. Chapel. Mosque. Synagogue.

Lights... Planes!

Airports in all countries have more in common with each other than with the countries they are actually situated in. All this abundance of technology ever growing in its complexity. One may find it frightening, but I love it. I get excited just at the thought of travelling by air. Can’t wait to do it again!

Wednesday, 7 December 2011


I am cold. [Now go ahead and make that how-can-you-be-cold-you-come-from-a-cold-country joke. Yawn.]

I’m so cold it makes me want to hibernate for the next two months. I took a hot shower and tried to think of a vacation in some place warm. I would have to dig out my summer clothes and sun screen. I’d cut out a large piece of the winter and replace it by summer. That all seemed nice until the thought of getting off the plane back in Amsterdam ruined the idyll.

I am cold and it makes me want to put on several layers of clothes. You know, like a wool cardigan on top of a wool sweater with a vest and a long-sleeve underneath. Like panty under the trousers. Like keeping the scarf on the whole day. And preferably also the hat.

I am cold and it makes me want to put the heating up to 25C and not switch it off till May. Buy a car just for the sake of being able to heat it up to the comfortable temperature level. Hold a cup full of hot tea in my hands all the time. Sit on a warm radiator.

I am cold and it makes me want to crawl under three layers of blankets. While wearing a wool cardigan on top of a wool sweater with a vest and a long-sleeve underneath. And panty under the trousers. And a scarf. And preferably also the hat. While holding a cup of hot tea in my hands.

How long will the winter last?

Some eye candy from Vorontsov.

Monday, 5 December 2011


I am looking back at the party at my place last Saturday and realise that I have a bunch of totally crazy friends. That shouldn’t surprise me, who else would want to be friends with me? If you read on you will agree. Some conversation bits from Saturday night:

A: Take anything you want, but not the keyboard hoover!
Me: I know you need it badly, but have you seen my keyboard?
She won the hoover, but after inspecting my keyboard left it at my desk anyway.

D: Oh I may pick the nicest present. Hey! Give me that little Russian monster!
J1, J2, O, M1, E and me (in one voice): It’s not a monster! It’s Cheburashka!
I: Take the candy g-string, it’s much nicer.
D: Ok, give me the g-string then.

M2: I have to take something from B. I want the food fighters.
B: The food fighters are not mine anymore. You may choose between modelling balloons and a.. ehm... a thingy.

Somebody has received a candle in a jar. We all sniffed at it and afterwards some people claimed to be hallucinating.

For some reason two or three people were fighting for the set of three CDs of “Original Christmas Classics”...

I won a yellow door handle sign with a skull and the word ‘Danger!’ on it. I am going to put in my cabin luggage and use in hotels.

We started at 19:00 on Saturday, the last guest left at 04:45 on Sunday.

Music that fits this madness: Chinese Man – Get up

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